hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
