Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
