So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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