Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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