he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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