To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
