are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
