what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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