The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
