C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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