Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize