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chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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