A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
