Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
