Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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