Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
