tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
