Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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