Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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