i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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