I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
