I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Drunk is not a location!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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