So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
