i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
