I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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