K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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