Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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