who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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