But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
