just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
