just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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