That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
