How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
