Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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