It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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