I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
