Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
