Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize