She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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