Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
