I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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