I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
