I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
