I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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