i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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