How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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