I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
