i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We talked him into tasing himself.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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