I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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