You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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