i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
