Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize