It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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