So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
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Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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