I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
