im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
