my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
