how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
