Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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