she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
