he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she told me i tasted like america
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think people are normalizing furries
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
