So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
