Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
