On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
