they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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