the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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